Gawd! Yet another defensive woman jumping down some blokes throat for daring to call her 'love'. I get the whole pet name thing, I really do, but I am also one for good manners, tact & diplomacy...{I know I contradict myself sometimes when blogging}
Anyway. Here goes...
Rather articulate for such a derp
by Z
From the first paragraph of my profile:
" If you send messages that I find rude, crass, disgusting, shaming, or just plain idiotic, I WILL post them in Return to Sender, albeit with your identity protected. Do NOT tell me what my submission is, what I need or want, or who I should be. At this moment in time, I belong to MYSELF, and as such, I expect to be treated respectfully. Remember the saying: you catch more flies with honey than vinegar."
ReferstoHisJunk, 35M
Hi, just wanted to say that I love your pics! looks like we have a few kinks in common, love
Ohhhh! Noooo! You DIDN'T!!!!Hi, just wanted to say that I love your pics! looks like we have a few kinks in common, love
{Gasp!} 'love' ?
Actually I thought that was quite a nice first message...& then he goes & refers to her a 'love' {lol}
ReferstoHisJunk
This had better be good...{Heres a towel to wipe the sweat off your brow}
well, you but I wouldn't call it a pet name
Ut! ohhh!
ReferstoHisJunk
ok, my apologies Zia1982
Ohhh! He's brave...Or stupid, one of the two...{Pulls up my chair, gets a snack to nibble on, this should be entertaining}
It is a community site, not a dating, hookup, or anything like that site.
Yep!...but...It doesn't hurt to be polite, tactful, diplomatic. Behave how you would like to be treated...Give the bloke the benefit of the doubt, before going for the throat with your sharp teeth...Let him trip himself up. Mind you. Some blokes don't know how to exchange messages online. They seem to think we are telepathic. Try being more clear, FFS!...If you are joking, it helps to use 'lol', cos I can't see your expression...
Me {Her}
Are you using "love" as a pet name?
Runnnn! Run for you life!Are you using "love" as a pet name?
ReferstoHisJunk
no, since I don't know you that'd be a bit inappropriate. I do use it with friends and acquaintances
TutTut! no, since I don't know you that'd be a bit inappropriate. I do use it with friends and acquaintances
Me {Her}
Then what was it referring to?
Dog. With bone...His boner, lol...She's just sunk her teeth in & is snarling...{Gulp!}Then what was it referring to?
ReferstoHisJunk
This had better be good...{Heres a towel to wipe the sweat off your brow}
well, you but I wouldn't call it a pet name
Not a pet name? What was you thinking? Now get your cock, place it in an open draw &....{SLAM!}
That should appease her...
Me {Her}
I would, and would prefer you simply use my name instead of things like that.
Hmmm!!!I would, and would prefer you simply use my name instead of things like that.
ReferstoHisJunk
ok, my apologies Zia1982
Me {Her}
Oh, for the... Clearly the numbers aren't necessary. Those are just there to make a reasonable-length username. People in the scene call me Zia.
Oh, for the... Clearly the numbers aren't necessary. Those are just there to make a reasonable-length username. People in the scene call me Zia.
{SLAM! HARDER! SLAM HARDER!} You bad man...
{HeeHee}
ReferstoHisJunk
I know. "oh for the love of god" was what I was thinking when I got a little bit of ice from you, I was merely trying to break the proverbial ice with someone I found attractive and of like mind. I was making a point with the whole "Zia1982" bit. I wasn't trying to say "love" as a way to denigrate you. But you felt the need to correct me rather than saying hi first and then say how you felt about that second, you know, more diplomatically.
So, my sincerest apologies Zia. Have a lovely night and long weekend.
& his just got his cock out of the draw...I know. "oh for the love of god" was what I was thinking when I got a little bit of ice from you, I was merely trying to break the proverbial ice with someone I found attractive and of like mind. I was making a point with the whole "Zia1982" bit. I wasn't trying to say "love" as a way to denigrate you. But you felt the need to correct me rather than saying hi first and then say how you felt about that second, you know, more diplomatically.
So, my sincerest apologies Zia. Have a lovely night and long weekend.
I think he needs that ice she gave him...
{She did provoke that response}
Me {Her}
Maybe that's because when women get messages from guys whose screen names reference their cock, and start a conversation with a focus on physical appearance and fetishes, they rarely are actually trying to get to know the women for more than the purpose of getting their dick wet.
Yh! She has a point, but she does not know that for sure, she is just assuming he will be the same, even though his first message was friendly & polite...Maybe that's because when women get messages from guys whose screen names reference their cock, and start a conversation with a focus on physical appearance and fetishes, they rarely are actually trying to get to know the women for more than the purpose of getting their dick wet.
She could have just ignored him...Ohh! Yeah. Ignoring a blokes message is considered impolite...
I dislike that immensely, and have been subjected to it enough to be wary. It happens far more than getting reasonable, truly conversational messages.
Hmmm! Yes. I agree. I get why she is defensive, but if a bloke walked up to her in the street to ask for directions, would she kick him in the bollox JUST because so many blokes have made inappropriate sexual comments...It doesn't hurt to be polite. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Then if he turns out to be yet another disrespectful tosser...Let him have the full force of your 'pissed off with dicks' speech...Or block him...
I dislike that immensely, and have been subjected to it enough to be wary. It happens far more than getting reasonable, truly conversational messages.
ReferstoHisJunk
1 it is a fetish site, so that kinda does go with the territory. Yes, it is more than a "hook up" website, but lets be honest, the focal point is, in fact, sex. If it were christianmingle.com I'd say you have a valid point.
Lol! After the great religion debate in the facebook group...Nooo! Christian mingling purlease!1 it is a fetish site, so that kinda does go with the territory. Yes, it is more than a "hook up" website, but lets be honest, the focal point is, in fact, sex. If it were christianmingle.com I'd say you have a valid point.
He has a point...
The saying 'Pick your battles'
2 it is a fetish site. I just wanted to emphasize that point. Once again, goes with the territory.
Yep! but it does help if the bloke reads your profile & fetish list...
I find being referred to, as 'Young lady' or 'girl' patronizing, but otherwise I don't mind. Because I am aware that coming from a complete stranger, that the so called 'pet name' is at worse insincere, otherwise he is just trying to be friendly...
3 I'm sure you do get a lot of guys hitting on you. Must be hard. I hear women complain all the time how tough it is to constantly have men attracted to them. Yes, I get it, they're trying to get into your pants....it is a fetish site you know. You are physically attractive, though as I'm finding out, that attraction went south.
Lol!
He is right, but then, being hit on ALL the time gets 'tedious'. Not that I have that problem anymore, since reaching my 40's. In my 30's. My inbox was always filled with messages. Now. Zilch! Unless inviting me to some sex orgy...
Does that mean only older women go to sex orgies, cos we're so desperate? lol...Or considered more experienced & open minded...Hmmm?
4 There are nice guys who just MAY hit on you now and then. There are plenty of them with depth. Sometimes it is a simple one or two line to feel someone out. You know, break the ice? Some might even be exactly what you're looking for, but you can't get past the 50 other guys who hit on you to actually be nice to the person who may have something to offer. Then again, that 51st person may just be trying to get into your pants. But, the 52nd or 53rd guy...
Look, my point is I hate snark. I'm always willing to adjust to someone. I try not to offend and I generally try to be nice and accommodating, but fuck do I hate it when someone gives me a lot of flak for saying something that offended them when I didn't even know that I did nor was I trying to offend them. So, you can either retort with something equally long and snarky, or, just do what I told you to do and have a nice weekend. K?
K!Look, my point is I hate snark. I'm always willing to adjust to someone. I try not to offend and I generally try to be nice and accommodating, but fuck do I hate it when someone gives me a lot of flak for saying something that offended them when I didn't even know that I did nor was I trying to offend them. So, you can either retort with something equally long and snarky, or, just do what I told you to do and have a nice weekend. K?
He has a point. Not all men are tossers...The same as not all women are manipulative bitches, but hey. People do make assumptions & judge, based on passed experience & just being plain narrow minded...
Me
You're articulate, but an utter idiot. It does not matter that it's a fetish site; that does not make the people on it fetish dispensers.
Yeah! True...We can't play with every bloke that asks. The same as being friendly is not an invite to persist in 'chatting' because we agreed to play just by responding. That does not make us time wasters. If I send a Pm to a bloke. I am not sending him an invitation to play, FFS! I am sending him a friendly Pm...Sheesh! Its not rocket science...Actually. Once I met a so called rocket scientist. He was a nob!...You're articulate, but an utter idiot. It does not matter that it's a fetish site; that does not make the people on it fetish dispensers.
It is a community site, not a dating, hookup, or anything like that site.
To me..."I have got references' Means "I can give references from other women, I have played with, to prove I am safe to play with"...So. Being told "I was joking" When I respond with "I prefer to make up my own mind, because people have different experiences" {Or words to that effect} I am thinking WTF! Try putting 'lo' So I know you're 'Only joking' you idiot!...Jeeze! Is it that different to write 'Online' more clearly. Because WE CAN'T SEE YOUR EXPRESSIONS OR HEAR THE TONE OF YOUR VOICE!...
Just saying...{Loudly} {lol}
...I don't think she sent this part to him...{Below}
I specify that I want to be spoken to respectfully.
Which indicates she has received so many messages from dicks!
My profile touches on kink and submission, but also puts in vanilla info and some literary quotes, as well as simple things like favorite color/tv show/etc. Plenty of things to start a conversation with, that don't revolve around kink or sex.
Because shes a real person...NOT a sex object...
And it infuriates me that this imbecile seems to think that I should just accept the idiotic behavior of others.
Yep! It gets boring...I am sooo lucky to be too old & passed it, lol...
Not that I consider myself too old & passed it...
Why should I? If no one ever tells these idiots that what they are doing is unacceptable, then the problem will continue and multiply.
She's not wrong there...Hence my blog...There are 100's of free porn sites on the net, so why should my blog be aimed at pleasing the blokes searching for free porn. They can choose to ignore what I write & just look at the pics & only read stuff I write about spanking. That is their prerogative...
But maybe if they hear it (or see it as the case may be), they will start to realize that their actions are not ok.
Yep!
I know they are DREADFULLY slow learners, but even the toughest nut cracks eventually, right? And I don't even think I was being snarky, I was trying to simply put out my preferences.
Well. Not so much sarky. Just impolite. Rude. When all you had to do was say 'Hi' then point out tactfully how you feel about insincere, patronizing so called pet names. Mind you. Some blokes do get quite defensive when pulled up on their behaviour or attitude...
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