Spanking Events-Growing Up As A submissive-

Oo! I might get to go to a club in Dagenham...

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  "Hi K. Sorry I have not been in touch - laid low by a horrid virus past couple of weeks. Looking forward to putting you over a spanking stool soon for a long slow intensity building session soon. Yes I can arrange place for play no problems. Any good new clubs we can visit have you heard of since Romford closed? X
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  <My Dog Charlie. {No he did not type this}
  

  
  

  
  

  There is Ouch, but I'm not sure if I could get an invite. As the woman who runs it is from way back, when my then Dom was all over her {Apparently she squirts, lol} He forgot to tell her that I was his sub. He was a wind up merchant. Used to create reasons to punish me, by winding me up, playing me off other people, generally being a Jerk...Anyway. I called him a arsehole in front of her. She took it upon herself to hate me...Ummm! lol...
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  Lol. He sounds like a jerk! A sub always gives her best when nurtured and challenged - not wound up!. I am a member of the Barking Club which is nice and friendly but more general swinging than BDSM though they do have an equipped playroom for our kind of fun. Was only thinking of a night out - but you can always fall asleep over the bed as per usual.... lol. Will let you know if I discover any other clubs!. Spank soon! Xx

I'm not sure if the hate campaign still applies for Ouch. I forgave her at the time for being all over my {then} Dom. Just saying...He was my Dom. I had no problems with him playing with other women. I said, until I was blue in the face "I don't mind you playing with other women, I 'mind' how you treat me" {Is that grammatically correct? I don't want to freak out the grammar police}

...but...being dumb. With the memory of a goldfish {Actually goldfish do have a good memory. They remember when it is feeding time} I call it a 'Selective man memory' As in remembers what he wants to remember. It was more dramatic for him, that I should be 'Jealous, clingy & possessive' I got used to hearing that. Even though I was not jealous, clingy & possessive. {Yawns!} Hearing that & saying the above over & over & over again; got very tedious...Grow up!...

Unfortunately for me, he liked to play people off each other. Sooo! Every other woman heard how 'Jealous, clingy & possessive' I was. What they did not hear, was, that I was his sub. His 'special number one sub'...I learned a lot of valuable life lessons from having dealings with this man. It certainly was a learning curve. I should thank him for the lesson's, lol...

I should keep it private? Maybe I should. Maybe I should have spread it around as gossip, but I chose not to, because where would it end & he was quite capable of lying. Where as I am too honest for my own good...No. Karma got him. It is just sad that I had to go through that. Unfortunately there will always be blokes around who 'get off' on screwing with a woman's head in the name of 'mind games'. Not all mind games are good. Mind games in play are fine. Winding a woman up, playing her off other people. What to get a reaction? So you can punish her? Hmmm!...

I feel for the young women coming into the scene, who get caught up with blokes who screw with their mind. Yes. There are decent, sane blokes. The decent sane blokes probably out number the headcases with mental issues, but you only need to meet one headcase. All this insincere 'Lovely, like mind, special' peeps thing going on. FFS! Grow up. Keep it real. People will always be people. I prefer down to earth people, then super duper 'Nice' insincere people...

You could say I sound bitter & twisted. Nope! Not really. I can count on one hand, the people who I have/ or had issues with. The ones who have issues with me, because they listen to gossip rather then make up their own mind. Well. That is their issue. Just saying...

Sometimes. I believe it just needs to be said. Hence writing my blog...

Ohh! Yeah! The club in Dagenham...Swinging? Does that mean it is a swinging club, not a BDSM club. I don't mind the swinging club, but, if we are playing. I'd rather not freak people out, lol...I remember going to a private swinging party with my husband. The host of the party was into spanking, mainly sensation play. He had a lot of floggers...I get the feeling it freaked out a few of the swingers. Ummm! lol...

Mind you. The party never got started. Mainly because it felt like everyone was waiting around awkwardly. I put it down to the fact that there was bright lights. No music. Basically no 'Ambiance' If there had been low lighting, candles, back ground music. It would have felt more relaxing. Less sitting around waiting for someone to get started. Which was the host, flogging me...

I will find out soon enough...Can't wait...

Ohh! Yeah! The hostess of Ouch. I don't have any problems with her. I never have. I had no problems with her & **** face doing the 'Golden cane' wossy at the notc. I would never have done it, because I am too shy. I think its great they won. Yet. **** face prefered the more entertaining dramatic 'wind up' version...

I remember being invited to go to the NOTC...I said..."Am I going as your sub?" He said "Yes". I said "Are you going to ignore me". He said "No". I said "Ok. I would like to go" {Or words to that effect} He had a 'Flavor of the month' thing going on {Rolls eyes}. Unfortunately. As well as having a selective memory, he can't multi task either. Well. Interact with more then one friend at a time...

Its not rocket science, FFS! Or should I say. It is not a school play ground. Obviously he was never taught that you don't make best buddies, then ignore your best buddies to go off with new buddies. I learned that people skill about age 5. When I was in the school play ground. I make a friend, she stayed my friend even if I made a new friend...Sheesh!

I know. What am I going on about...

Anyway. The latest wind up started from the off...They was dressed as Doctor & nurse. Fair enough they was doing the golden cane competition. He got her to get out to knock. It was funny. Apparently. Nooo! A complete stranger was knocking on my door, dressed as a nurse...{HaHaHa-Ohhhh! sooo! funny}

I knew what was going to happen, but no, I stupidly went with them. Luckily my friend was there too. His nurse, was sat in the front. Personally. If I was a Dom. I would respect my sub. She would be sat in the front. I chose not to make a big deal out of it, because that would be petty...Now. a dacade on. If that happened. My Dom. In the front, with another sub. Bye-Bye...Been there. Done that. To me a D/s relationship means 'priority'. As in you put each other first. You treat each other with respect...

Another lesson...If he/she is acting like they don't care 'They don't care'. If you are looking to just be a 'playmate' fair enough, but to me. It is a respect thing. Loyalty. Honesty. Integrity. Goes a long way. I'm righteous that way...

Anyway. He rubbed his hand up & down her leg all the way. I chose to ignore him. I did not want to give him the satisfaction. After all. He was doing it, because he wanted to make me 'Jealous'...Twat! If you are so close to someone as your sub. Why would you want to wind her up? To get a reaction? So you can accuse her of being 'Jealous, clingy & possessive'...Hmmm? Not nice...

Then we arrive. Go & sit by the school area. There is a seat next to his nurse & me & one the other side. He sits on the chair on her other side & takes hold of her hand...I think "Hmmm! Here we go. He is going to wind me up all evening"...So me & my friend went to sit by the bar. Where we had a great time. Chatting to people, mainly blokes of course, lol...

I walked away & left him to it, without an audience. So as not to ruin our evening. Me & K's that is. By then I was past caring how he felt, if I was there or not. Because he was obviously going to do his usual. Wind me up. EVENTUALLY! get a reaction. Punish me. Show off what a great 'Dom' he is. It was boring. It was emotionally destructive. It was him behaving like a Jerk. Thooough I ended up calling him an 'Arsehole'...I think it was more "Thanks for a good time, you arsehole"...Then I walked away so as not to say more...&...To calm myself down. That is what adults do...

One of the blokes we was chatting to. Having a good time. Without Mister attention seeker acting out...{Rolls eyes} Anyway. I went off to play with him. It got a bit...Ummm! sexual. OMFG! we're at a fetish party & his spanking my bottom & pussy, whilst I'm bent over with my hands on the seat of a chair. I still had my knickers on, btw...It was 'Mmmm!' I was enjoying myself...

Of course my dear secret Dom. Decided to make a big drama out of it. Anyone would think I was up on stage, naked, legs spread wide...Now you want to be my Dom...Sheesh!

Whilst playing with the bloke we had been chatting to. Some creepy little bloke gets up in my ear {Can you get up in someones ear?} & whispers. In a creepy voice {You could hear the lecherous leer, lol}...I'm next...

I'm thinking. Noooo! Your NOT!...So we finished playing. I made a dash for the ladies. Jerk face was all over reacting. Or more likely creating one of his 'dramas'...

If that happened now...Well lets just say it wouldn't happen now. Because I now know my own mind. I was 36 yrs old then. Ohhh! What a difference a decade can make to how you think & feel. To what you allow to happen...

I did go to another notc a few years later, with my Dom. {I dumped the Jerks sorry arse-Unfortunately for him. He had been pushing & pushing & pushing, until I went over the edge & took his canes with me} Anyway. That same creepy guy came up to me again...but...I was in a better place emotionally {Not being wound up left right & centre}. So I was a more assertive sub, then 'make a dash for the ladies to avoid him'. That on line assertiveness course I took was one of the best things I could have done, to deal with situations like the creep & the Jerk...

Nuff said for now......